My nostalgia has been so unreal lately. Maybe I’m missing being a kid. When I spent the majority of time thinking up excuses that would ensure the school nurse would call my mom to come pick me up so I could go watch Eureka’s Castle. And when my biggest fear was that my mom would die in a motorcycle accident ( ???) though she has never so much as sat on one. And my second biggest fear was being sprayed by a skunk. Which coincidentally was excuse #54 for getting out of school. These days at 4pm I can’t hardly wait to get home so i can take off my uncomfortable work clothes, lay like a starfish on my bed, listen to the news, and reassure myself that I will TOTALLY work out later. But there was a time when 4pm meant going home, toasting up some pizza bagel bites and sitting on the floor with my little sister. We would pop in a VHS and record mix-tapes of our favorite music videos. It was an unpredictable art. You might spend 4 hours waiting for Del Amitri’s “Roll to me” but god dammit, you had the time! The world was your oyster. Pop-up videos was your pearl.

Anyways my faggot weirdo sister, (JUST KIDDING SARAH, I LOVE YOU! Ur kewl! Those were the dayz, girl.) had a serious thing for Celine Dion. I don’t know if that’s normal or not. I mean, I think it’s absolutely normal if you are a 79 year old lady with a Princess Di beanie baby. Oh shit, SARAH HAD ONE OF THOSE TOO! :( I’m just not so sure if it was normal for a 9 year old to worship a Canadian Adult Contemporary singbird. But Sarah didn’t give a fuck. If you know Sarah, you know she still doesn’t give a fuck. She is probably looping this video right now and swaying back and forth in her mirror, waiting for a handsome spirtman to wrap her up in his big dead arms.

The point I’m trying to make is that lately I’m discovering happiness in the most EXTREMELY weird and unexpected things. This video is absolutely one of them. Nostalgia is bittersweet. Bitter that I have to link such great feelings to a fucking Celine Dion video but sweet that youtube exists because I don’t have the time to sit on the floor replacing my parent’s wedding night with back to back Toni Braxton and Dru Hill videos. For you all you young go-hards out there, love your siblings and be grateful for DVR. And if you remember nothing else, remember this : It doesn’t get better.