All Shook Down: Archive

Office Chat: Family Pot-luck dinner tonight....

Emily: WE ARE NOT ROBOTS, AMERICA
 WE CANT JUST BE HOT EVERYDAY
Me: we looked like baby whitney houstons
 during her marriage to bobby
Emily: yes
 I want to look like rihanna post-face smash from chris brown
Me: I want to look like demi moore 4 seconds after her 3rd whip-it

Jan 27th

2 tags

Jan 26th

17 notes

3 tags

When a problem comes along.... →

Don’t act like you could think of a better way to get over a divorce.

Jan 26th

2 tags

Jan 22nd

4 notes

Jan 22nd

38 notes

4 tags

Watch

New Years Resolution #1: Call yr girlfrond. It’s time you told her that she’s a meteor.

Jan 22nd

9 notes

5 tags

Jan 21st

4 notes

3 tags

Jan 19th

3 notes

Alan Hanson: The Hard Things →

I tried to think of something to say about this for an hour. I can’t because I realized that nothing I say can make this any better to read. It’s come at a perfect time and given me a strange sense of calmness. Keep it coming, Alan! lieslieslies: Recently a soft and astute human being told me that a positive side to a bad experience I had was that it makes me uniquely qualified to...

Jan 19th

122 notes

2 tags

End Piracy, Not Liberty – Google →

Take 30 seconds and sign the petition against SOPA and PIPA. Beautfiul, bodacious, quality blogs like this would not exist if it were to pass. Plus, if I can’t spend 2 hours a day on Wikipedia reading about Icelandic Sheepdogs, Alcatraz, and trolls in Norway, I will become a shell of a well educated woman.

Jan 18th

44 notes

1 tag

Jan 17th

74 notes

2 tags

Jan 17th

2 notes

3 tags

Jan 16th

4 notes

3 tags

Jan 16th

1,294 notes

3 tags

Mudslide Mayhem - A not so short story based upon...

Today I showed my friend a cut on my hand and asked if it looked infected. He said maybe I should put some alcohol on it. Alcohol. ALCOHOL????? SO I STOOD UP AND PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE AND THEN DRANK HIS TEARS AND SAID “I’M STRAIGHT FUCKIN EDGE I’LL SEE YOU IN THE FUCKIN PIT.” This is the most embarassing thing I’ve read on the internet. And I followed Amanda Bynes on Twitter for...

Jan 16th

6,069 notes

Jan 15th

448 notes

3 tags

3:16 →

Jan 13th

2 notes

2 tags

Jan 13th

3 notes

4 tags

Jan 12th

2 notes

2 tags

Jan 12th

3 notes

Runaround Sue | Dion & The Belmonts

Jan 11th

9 notes

Jan 11th

3,371 notes

6 tags

Jan 11th

954 notes

1 tag

Lie down, you know it’s easy. Like we did it...

Jan 11th

1 note

3 tags

Jan 10th

1 note

2 tags

Jan 8th

2 notes

2 tags

Jan 8th

12 notes

4 tags

Saturday Night Cat Scratch Fever

me: yeah it really is, i think we like being social in big doses versus other people like a steady stream of social, which tires us. we like to be lazy fat calico cats that don't need affection and stay at home grooming ourselves and eating fancy feasts and then we like to rage hard and bar hop and travel for a month then we go back to smoking our headies cat nip and rolling on the floor while other watch in horror and confusion. 
it's like: don't hate us cause we are purrrrfect, world
Emily: hahahahahahahaha
Me: boyfriends may come and go but kitty cats like us are furrrrrever
Emily: that is quite literally perfect
 purrrrrfect
Me: whats wrong with meOW?!
Emily: NOTHING
 not in my eyes
 which is all that matters
Emily: current status
 no joke
 we're in 2 separate rooms of the same apartment
 talking on gchat
 that is QUITE LITERALLY us
Me: we love to be alone together
 cats like us are alone forever, cats like us are alone together
 put that on a card and send it for christmas