Babehaus likes give back to the community and back to the babes. So every other month we go through our closets to see what we are willing to part with and we ask our friends to do the same. It’s hard to do because I think we are all bebe hoarders but the reward of cloaking other babes helps soothes the pain. The past week we’ve been compiling stuff and today when I got home I noticed some new contributions and decided to check them out.
I found a maternity shirt.
I’m going don’t ask/don’t tell on this but I’d like to say that this type of situation needs no telling. If you are expanding enough to need maternity clothes you won’t have to say a word, the elastic will speak for you. That being said it’s safe to assume no member of Babehaus is or has been pregnant, which can only mean one thing. I have truly found my soul-roommates. At Christmas time I found myself exhausted with shopping, irritable from dummyhead shoppers, uncomfortable in tight skinny jeans and in the back corner of a shitty Macy’s in the Pea in a Pod section. I paced around it on the phone with my sister half listening to her and half questioning what I was doing. I told her I had to go and focus on shopping and when I hung up I had in my hands the most comfortable AND cute maternity tank top, maternity yoga pants, and maternity t-shirts and I thought “I’m totally okay with this. This is fucking brilliant.” But then like something crept over and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was suppose to not be stoked on this event. Is this suppose be a sad moment? Am I an asshole for being here? What would Liz Lemon do? Probably this. I’m 25. A size 2. And extremely not pregnant. But you know what I did? I went in that dressing room with more pregnant clothes than I could carry and I tried them all on for an hour. AN HOUR. I was in there putting on clothes and rationalizing in my brain that spending $45 on a plain tank top was ok because it WAS super comfy and it’s not like I’ll grow out of it, AM I RIGHT??? The facts are maternity clothes today are the best thing in the entire world. Back in the day (1986) if you were big and pregnant, I’m pretty positive they made you wear bedsheets or hospital gowns to save a step come d-day. But today you can look just like every other girl but be 150% more comfortable! WHAT A GREAT TIME TO BE ALIVE!
I ended up not buying the maternity clothes because something came over me and I realized that I had been in a hot Macy’s for over 2 hours and I had spent all my money on other people and not creepy things. But I’ve lived in small regret ever since.
But not anymore. Because one of my beautiful roommates probably had the exact same moment I did but pulled the trigger on the best idea ever and didn’t puss out like me, Katie, the dumb puss.
I love you Emily & Amanda. You complete me and I FEEL YOU. KEEP IT COMING, GIRLS! Oh and I’m real sorry if one of you was actually pregnant and I missed it cause I was stuck in Macy’s losing my mind.
*This post is dedicated to babies that came feet first.